Hey you almighty and all-knowing horticulturists at the Chicago Botanic Garden....I've done tricked you out!
That's right. I'm letting the whole universe know that you're not as perfect as you claim to be.
My husband and I decided to trot down to the north side of things (Kenosha, WI to the magical land of Mars Cheese Castle, then to the Jelly Belly Factory, and hit up the Chicago Botanic Garden on the way back home.
I was eager to visit there, but yet depressed at the same time. I had imagined each and every one of their gardens as immaculate, clean, bug-free, tidy, neat, and any other positive connotating adjective you can throw in here. I figured I would be so amazed at their immaculate showing of floral bliss, it would eventually bring me down to a funk, wondering why I could never get my garden to look that tidy.
If you've never been to the Chicago Botanic garden, they have around 15 different gardens that represent different types of gardens, such as butterfly, prairie plants, vegetable and herbs, Japanese, roses, fruit and other ornamental trees, shade gardens, and so on. To be able to maintain these gardens requires a lot of manpower, something that I don't have the luxury of having. As you might imagine, the place is pretty big. In fact, it's so big that you have the option of driving around the park as opposed to walking. We decided to hike it, because a lot more can be seen that way.
We are about six gardens in, and in awe of the gorgeous greenery. At one point, I thought to myself, 'Self, I just want to see one weed. ONE.' I feel this way because some days I am overwhelmed with the weeds. I have pretty sizable land. Every time it rains, it seems as though the weeds instantly pop up out of nowhere. Some days I just let them be until I feel like getting around to them, but because of this downward spiral, my garden looks ugly. Well, it's just going to look ugly for a day. Or two....or.....
If one person has a hard time with the weeds, I can't help but wonder how in the world can a huge place like The Chicago Botanic Garden be just so damn perfect! I feel the same way about the Chicago Botanic Garden as I do with Halle Berry. I just want to see ONE blemish. Just one! Because then I know that not even Halle Berry is perfect and I will feel shitloads better about myself.
Well, Halle Berry's blemishes still remains to be seen. However, that's not so much the case with the Chicago Botanic Garden.
You see, my husband and I took a stroll down The "Evening Garden." The Evening Garden is a long pathway, lined with more delicate florals and groundcover. The mood of this garden is very enchanting, with lots of birds and butterflies flying about. It is very serene, very calm, and romantic. Everything was perfect, the air, the sun gleaming down, and not a petal out of place. I looked down to take in the wonderful smells, and then........THIS:
That is a WEED, my friends. And it's the worst weed ever imaginable, and my most hated weed. How in the holy hell did the superior and all-knowing horticulturists miss this?!
You know what.....it doesn't matter. Soon after I discovered this, I was doing jumping jacks. I almost tinkled by accident because I was so excited. I HAVE FOUND A FLAW at the Chicago Botanic Garden, and I have the pictorial evidence! I cannot explain how much of a ego boost this gave me. My husband thought I was nuts, but I didn't care. I HAVE FOUND AN IMPERFECTION!
This weed is probably long gone by now, at least I hope it is. This picture was taken about a month ago, but the fact remains.....Chicago Botanic Garden = NOT PERFECT.
Now....if I can only find a similar imperfection on Halle Berry, my life will be complete.